I dont wanna be this kinda parent

Sometimes is never quite enough
If you’re flawless, then you’ll win my love
Don’t forget to win first place
Don’t forget to keep that smile on your face
Be a good boy
Try a little harder
You’ve got to measure up
And make me prouder
How long before you screw it up
How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up
With everything I do for you
The least you can do is keep quiet
Be a good girl
You’ve gotta try a little harder
That simply wasn’t good enough
To make us proud
I’ll live for you
I’ll make you what I never was
If you’re the best, then maybe so am I
Compared to him compared to her
I’m doing this for your own damn good
You’ll make up for what I blew
What’s the problem …… why are you crying
Be a good boy
Push a little farther now
That wasn’t fast enough
To make us happy
We’ll love you just the way you are —–if you’re perfect

(Alanis Morissette-Perfect)



/* A copy from my other notes with a bit modification*/

March 28, 2010 ,
Hari ini sy mendapat pelajaran dari seorang kawan zaman SMA dan kuliah dulu. Beberapa menit seblm sy tulis note ini, kita sempet ngobrol lewat messenger. Dia bertanya apa perasaan saya ketika sedang jauh dari keluarga dan mendapati bahwa istri sedang sakit serius. Istri memang saat ini sedang diuji Tuhan dengan sakitnya yg cukup serius yg tidak terbayang sebelumnya dia akan mendapat ini.
Dengan santai tapi sedikit berpikir saya jawab, “ya sedih, ga bisa ngapa2in pastinya. Lo aneh2 aja pertanyaannya”. Terus dia bertanya lagi apa yg akan saya lakukan ketika itu terjadi. Saya jawab, “gw bersimpuh dihadapan Allah, benar benar minta ampuuun, mohon diberikan kesembuhan dsb. Kemudian dia lanjut berkata, Continue Reading →

PSPA – highly recommended for parents/parents wannabe

Truly remarkable, inspiring and a must attend program for both parents and parents wannabe. Extremely recommended. I participated to this event right in the middle long holiday, a time when we, most working people, dream to get lazy and play around with kids – Saturday and Sunday. And so did we actually. Even though my working time is quite flexible (for teaching at university), but I always see Sat & Sun are days where they are supposed to be a day off for working (again, I have to admit, mostly it just doesn’t work that way, cause beside lecturing I do consulting work).
At first, I was not too keen to attend the stuff. I solely pushed my self just because I want to respect my wife’s effort who had booked the place for both of us. I thought that this is just another variant of parenting product like everyone else offered by motivational consultant or EO folks to attract parents who put concern on their children. The program was named PSPA (Program Sekolah Pengasuhan Anak), instructed by seemingly quite young motivater, Ihsan Baihaqi Ibnu Bukhari. The thing costed us about Rp.250.000 each (we got discounted price actually, haha).
But, really, all bless to the almighty God who had lead me to the course, the event was sooo deeply touching my very heart as a dad. All material are so highly motivating, easily understood and really practical based. Sometime we forgot that children are not ours. They are both Allah bless and His mandate for us to look after before returning back to Him in a original condition. But often what we did is actually against His willingness. As a parent, we have to admit that we have lead them to make their life much harder, as opposed to make them be prepared to be a person with integrity, value and preparedness to fight for Him.
Dear bunda, liyana, naila, and sarah the long waited new member in d family, please forgive me for all misdirection I ever gave. I’d try the best to be your better guy.

Imagine your kid said this…

Home 10.14pm.Exactly last night, while I was checking final exam for my students, I heard this touching words coming from a movie casted by Eddy Murphy (correct spelling?). No need an hour to think, I realize how precious time for my children when I’m around them.
In one of its part, a son said to Eddy (I’m not sure what his role was, but I suppose he’s playing a father there) after he decided to move to a job that will take him away from his son for a quite long time, “…I would sale all of my toys…..so you (father) don’t have to get money and we could be together.”.
It was one of a touchy word I’ve ever heard. Even though, I’ve heard it somewhere before, but somehow I feel that it shoots right through my heart.
I recall my time that I have for my two angels. It is so little I spare for them, predominately used for my own career and my own time. Children might change everything you dream this moment, but children will turn to something you would dream of when they were grown up, with your passion, care, and love.
Thank you exam and eddy…